Table of Contents
Emotional Intelligence meaning. And Why It Can Matter More Than IQ?
It is made of 5 things:
- Self-awareness – enables you to make better decisions.
- Managing emotions – handling feelings – how to deal with setbacks.
- Empathy – recognize emotions in others.
- Handling relationships.
“Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.”ARISTORTLE
ABOUT THE BOOK
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ is a 1995 book by Daniel Goleman. This masterpiece has sold over 5 million copies worldwide. Translated into 40 languages.
This book is divided into FIVE parts:
PART ONE explains about “THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN.”
PART TWO explains about “THE NATURE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.”
PART THREE explains about “EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE APPLIED.”
PART FOUR explains about “WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITY.”
PART FIVE explains about “EMOTIONAL LITERACY.”
THIS BOOK EXPLAINS
2 Separate minds living in our BRAIN
Goleman – explains how TWO separate minds live inside our Brain. One is the RATIONAL and one EMOTIONAL. 5 essential skills making our emotional literacy are a much more significant predictor of happiness and success than the capacity by which we measure IQ.
EQ determines your Success
Daniel Goleman – many high IQ scoring students are demolished in their actual lives.
“In an authentic sense, we have two minds, one that anticipate and one that perceive”
While many ordinary people have gotten phenomenal success, Goleman Claims that if your IQ scoring has got to play any role in your success, it cannot be quite 20%. Your 80% success is predicated on your EQ.
Why is EQ important?
Emotional intelligence rests on self-awareness and self-regulation. A high EQ causes you to healthier and more successful. You’ll boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s visual communication and thinking optimistically.
Emotional intelligence depends on your ability to be self-aware and self-regulate
There are 2 parts to being emotionally intelligent:
- Being emotionally self-aware – this suggests that you simply can recognize and label your feelings.
- Being emotionally self-regulated – As an adult having the ability to seem at your emotions is vital. It’s crucial to settle on the way to react to your feelings or if you ought to respond in the least.
Example from the book – When you are sitting in your office and hear a sudden, loud bang, just like the sound of an explosion, your emotional processing centre will perceive it’s a threat and put your body in alert mode. But when your rational brain double checks and sees there is no actual threat there, it calms you down again, so you’ll revisit on target to what you’re doing.
The ventilation fallacy
VENTING When you are angry prolongs Your mood rather than and it.
VENTING when you are sad – Correct
VENTING when you are Angry – Incorrect
“Self-absorption altogether its forms Kills empathy, including compassion. When we specialize in ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupation loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our problems drift to the periphery of the minds and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate actions.”
Ways to better your EQ:
- Take Deep Breaths.Go for a walk.
- Don’t engage in ANGER, including thought.
- REFRAME your thoughts – as evil thoughts come to you. Write them down and re-frame them.
- Do some Aerobic Exercises.
- Complete SMALL TASKS – start by making your bed.
- Reframe the same situation – also help others in need.
Don’t ruminate when you are sad; DISTRACT yourself instead !
Never continue thinking with your negative thoughts.
“DISTRACTION changes the chain of SAD thinking.” Best Distractions enable you to shift your mood. Like- reading an uplifting book or going to a sports event.
DISTRACTION is very much better than CRYING.
If you’ve a HIGH EQ – you’re more likely to achieve Success and Health
IQ- Is the level of your intelligence.
We THINK that IQ determines our success BUT According to Goleman’s research – EQ is just as if not more essential to find Happiness.
People in the better grip of EQ are always better prepared to face social situations
In the world of business and careers – STUDENTS with a better level of empathy seems to urge better grades. albeit their peers are even as smart, that’s because they will better manage their FEELINGS.
For instance – despite being bored, they’re going to still complete their work, and that they will perform better in social settings. They know when to talk and when to keep quite.
THE FAMOUS MARSHMALLOW EXPERIMENT
The famous marshmallow experiment – Kids who can BETTER discipline themselves at a young age tends to perform better later also in life.
MANAGERS / WORKERS who are socially skilled – will have the facility to influence people once they got to and thus do a far better job at leading people.
“Emotional self-control – delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness – underlies accomplishment of every sort”
Your health depends on EQ
The more you have of it the BETTER you are able to mitigate stress. you can prevent most prevalent diseases of our times.
“Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.”HORACE WALPOLE
You can boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s visual communication and thinking optimistically
How are you able to increase your EQ (Emotional Intelligence)
- Mirror other people’s visual communication
- Convince yourself that your failures result from things YOU CAN CHANGE.
“Emotional self-awareness is that the building block of subsequent fundamental emotional intelligence: having the ability to shake off the bad mood”
“Anger is never without a reason , but seldom a good one.”Benjamin Franklin
THE ARTFUL CRITIQUE
How to criticise the right way:
- Be VERY SPECIFIC
- Offer a SOLUTION
- Do it FACE TO FACE
- Show EMPATHY
“For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when the emotions hold sway.”
7 important things emotionally intelligent people follow:
- They learn from CRITICISM – Criticism is an opportunity for them to learn.
- They SAY SORRY – they are humble and people like them.
- They FORGIVE, FORGET and MOVE AHEAD – they take control over their own lives.
- They Complete their commitments.
- They SHOW EMPATHY – “I understand ……..”
- They learn from FAILURE.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR (Daniel Goleman)
Daniel Goleman – An Author and a Science Journalist. His book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” is the New York Times bestseller. He was born in Stockton, California. His parents were college professors, and his father taught in the humanities—including Latin and a course on world literature—at what became San Joaquin Delta Community College (the library there is named after him); his mother was a social worker who taught in the sociology department of what is now the University of the Pacific.
Daniel Goleman’s vision
By teaching people to tune in to their emotions with intelligence and to expand their circles of caring, we can transform organizations from the inside out and make a positive difference in our world.