Table of Contents
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Here are the best 4 lines from the book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
- They never WASTE TIME FEELING SORRY for themselves.
- Never exaggerate your problems, hardships.
- Whether you are struggling to pay your bills or experiencing a severe health problem, complaining only worsens the situation.
- Self-pity keeps you FOCUSED ON the problem and PREVENTS you from developing a solution.
ABOUT THE BOOK: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do is the international bestseller book. It is translated into more than 20 languages. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do aims to become the guide book to improve your MENTAL STRENGTH and EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE.
“Each time you avoid saying no to something you really don’t want, you give away your power.”– AMY MORIN
Throughout the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, AMY MORIN Has quoted the fact that IQ is not as crucial as EQ in today’s generation. It is not so important how knowledgeable you are, but it is essential to hold yourself in difficult situations. The same is quoted in the book CATALYST by CHANDRAMOULI. One cannot be as familiar as Google. So try to focus more on your emotions.
3 most crucial things we learn as we read 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
- Complaining that you are not getting something – you THINK you deserve, is a WASTE of your ENERGY.
- STOP The comparison madness- Eradicate your Facebook news feed and stop comparing yourself with others.
- Finally – learn to be ALONE.
3 MAIN TAKEAWAYS FROM 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
1. It is futile to complain about things you are not getting
- Complaining that you are not getting something you think you deserve is the WASTE of your energy.
- Never waste your energy on things that are outside your control.
- Not trying to change the weather, other people’s behaviour or the fact that you just got fired! And NEVER EVER WASTE your energy COMPLAINING about it.
“Every complaint is a serious WASTE of your breath.”
- Even if you think you really deserve something (and you might ) THE WORLD DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING.
- The minute you believe that the world whose OWES you something you are setting yourself up for ANGER, FRUSTRATION and BITTERNESS.
Quoting an example from the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do :
“For example, if you get a divorce and your spouse gets custody of your daughter, she might end up showering her with expensive gifts. You can’t afford it. You can complain about it, but it will only make you focus on the bad parts and try to control your ex-wife’s behavior. If you instead took that time to spend with your daughter and so her, you love her, and she would never turn against you. But if you are busy fighting with your ex-wife and neglect her, you will probably indeed damage the relationship.”
2. Never measure your self-worth by comparing
- It is time to STOP the comparison madness.
- Looking at the sea of promotion notifications, HAWAII beach photographs, new cars and VIP events – this makes you feel miserable about your own life.
- Facebook is unreal – it does not show the problems the other person is facing.
How can you be a true friend if you are constantly busy envying what your friend do and have?
- STOP IT. Leave your Facebook for a new week.
- SEE HOW YOU FEEL. You won’t be missing anything.
- YOU WILL RATHER FEEL happy and satisfied with your own life.
3. It’s okay being alone; Rather learn to be okay with being alone
When was the last time you just sat on a chair, alone in your room and did nothing ? No Phone, No Reading, No TV, No Music.
WE HAVE FORGOTTEN !!
- We’ve forgotten how to be ALONE.
- If you are not active, you must be lazy is a perception.
- That is the reason we are terrified of being ALONE.
“You are totally okay, just being by yourself. It’s a wonderful realization to come to and, more importantly, one of the biggest precursors of being able to establish a healthy relationship with others.”
SUMMARY OF 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
MAKE THAT CHOICE WISELY!
HARDSHIPS AND SORROWS ARE INEVITABLE
But feeling SORRY for Yourself is a CHOICE. Even when you can’t solve a problem, you can OPT TO CONTROL YOUR ATTITUDE. Find three things to be grateful for every day to keep SELF-PITY as bay.
No one has the power Over the WAY YOU THINK, FEEL or BEHAVE
Mentally healthy people NEVER GIVE away their power. You can’t feel like a victim and be mentally healthy – this is IMPOSSIBLE. My boss makes me feel bad about myself – You are giving power over the way you think, feel or behave to others in this case.
Change your DAILY VOCABULARY to keep YOUR POWER WITH YOU
Rather than saying – I have to work today. EDIT and SAY – “I AM CHOOSING TO STAY LATE”.
EMPOWERING YOURSELF is an essential component to creating the kind of life you want.
Mentally strong people NEVER SHY AWAY from change
If you worry – That changes will make things worse, you will stay stuck in your old ways. The world is changing, and your success depends on your ability to adapt. Adapt and create a positive change in yourself. Leave an unhealthy relationship, take a new job.
Never squander Energy on things you can’t Control
Complaining + worrying and wishful thinking don’t solve problems. They only WASTE YOUR ENERGY. Invest the same energy in the things you can control. This way, you will be much better prepared for whatever life throws your way. Accept situations that are beyond your control and focus on influencing rather than controlling people around you.
Mentally strong people never worry about PLEASING EVERYONE
Trying to make other people happy drains your mental strength and cause you to lose sight of your goals. Making choices that disappoint or upset others take courage but living an authentic life requires you to act according to your values. You can write down your top 5 values and focus your energy on staying true to them, even when your choices aren’t made with favor.
Never fear taking risks
If you are excited about a new opportunity, you may overlook a big risk and forge ahead. Emotions cloud your judgment and interfere with your ability and accurately calculate risk. You can’t become extraordinary without taking chances. A successful outcome depends on your ability to take the right risks.
Mentally strong people never dwell on the past
Learning from the past helps you build mental strength; ruminating is HARMFUL. Enjoy your present and make a future as good as possible. Make peace with the past. Forgive someone who hurt you.
Mentally strong people never repeat their mistakes
Whether you gained back the weight, you worked hard to lose or forgot an important deadline, view each misstep as an opportunity for growth. Set aside your pride and humbly evaluate why you goofed up. Use that knowledge to move forward better than before.
Never resent other people’s successes
Watching a co-worker receive a promotion, sing a family member buy a car you can’t afford can stir up feelings of envy. Jealousy shifts and focus from your efforts and interferes with your ability to reach your goals. Recognize that when other people reach their goals, their accomplishments don’t minimize your achievements.
Never give up after your 1st failure
Almost all stories about wildly successful people start with tales of repeated failures. Thomas Edison failed 1000 of times before he invented the viable light bulb. Focus on your SKILLS and be willing to try again after you fail.
Mentally strong people Never fear alone time
Alone time is an essential component to build mental strength. Carve out at least 10 minutes each day to gather your thoughts without any distractions of the world. Use the time to reflect on your progress and create goals for the future.
Never expect immediate results
Self-growth develops slowly. Expecting instant results will lead to disappointment. Think of your efforts as a marathon, not a Sprint. (CHANDRAMOULI said same in his book CATALYST).
IMPORTANT TIPS FROM THE AUTHOR OF 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
- The great news is that everyone can strengthen his or her mental muscle.
- Practice being your own mental strength coach.
- Pay attention to areas in which you are doing well and figure out where you need improvement.
- Create growth opportunities and then challenge yourself to become a little better today than you were yesterday.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR OF 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do – AMY MORIN
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, and international bestselling author. She’s a highly wanted keynote speaker who gave one among the foremost popular TEDx talks of all time. Her books, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, are translated into 30 languages. She’s a columnist for Inc., Forbes, and Psychology Today and her articles on mental strength reach quite 2 million readers monthly.