Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Book Summary

Book Details

Book NameEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
AuthorDaniel Goleman
Publishing Date1995
Rating by Editor4.0/5.0

Emotional Intelligence Meaning And Why It Can Matter More Than IQ?

It is made of 5 things:

  1. Self-awareness – enables you to make better decisions.
  2. Managing emotions – handling feelings – how to deal with setbacks.
  3. Self-motivation.
  4. Empathy – recognize emotions in others.
  5. Handling relationships.
Emotional Intelligence
Low vs High Emotional Intelligence

About The Book

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ is a 1995 book by Daniel Goleman. This masterpiece has sold over 5 million copies worldwide. Translated into 40 languages.

This book is divided into FIVE parts:

This Book Explains

Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence

2 Separate minds living in our BRAIN


Goleman – explains how TWO separate minds live inside our Brain. One is the RATIONAL and one EMOTIONAL. 5 essential skills making our emotional literacy are a much more significant predictor of happiness and success than the capacity by which we measure IQ.

EQ determines your Success

Daniel Goleman – many high IQ scoring students are demolished in their actual lives.

While many ordinary people have gotten phenomenal success, Goleman Claims that if your IQ scoring has got to play any role in your success, it cannot be quite 20%. Your 80% success is predicated on your EQ.

Why is EQ important?

Emotional intelligence rests on self-awareness and self-regulation. A high EQ causes you to be healthier and more successful. You’ll boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s visual communication and thinking optimistically.

Emotional intelligence depends on your ability to be self-aware and self-regulate

There are 2 parts to being emotionally intelligent:

  1. Being emotionally self-aware – this suggests that you simply can recognize and label your feelings.
  2. Being emotionally self-regulated – As an adult having the ability to seem at your emotions is vital. It’s crucial to settle on the way to react to your feelings or if you ought to respond in the least.

Example from the book – When you are sitting in your office and hear a sudden, loud bang, just like the sound of an explosion, your emotional processing center will perceive it’s a threat and put your body in alert mode. But when your rational brain double checks and sees there is no actual threat there, it calms you down again, so you’ll revisit on target to what you’re doing.

Suggestion (must read): 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

The ventilation fallacy

VENTING When you are angry prolongs Your mood rather than and it.
VENTING when you are sad – Correct
VENTING when you are Angry – Incorrect

“Self-absorption altogether its forms Kills empathy, including compassion. When we specialize in ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupation loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our problems drift to the periphery of the minds and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate actions.”

Ways to better your EQ:

Ways to Improve your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
  1. Take Deep Breaths.Go for a walk.
  2. Don’t engage in ANGER, including thought.
  3. REFRAME your thoughts – as evil thoughts come to you. Write them down and re-frame them.
  4. Do some Aerobic Exercises.
  5. Complete SMALL TASKS – start by making your bed.
  6. Reframe the same situation – also help others in need.

Don’t ruminate when you are sad; DISTRACT yourself instead!

Never continue thinking with your negative thoughts.

DISTRACTION is very much better than CRYING.

If you have a HIGH EQ – you’re more likely to achieve Success and Health

IQ- This is the level of your intelligence.
We THINK that IQ determines our success BUT According to Goleman’s research – EQ is just as if not more essential to find Happiness.

People in the better grip of EQ are always better prepared to face social situations

In the world of business and careers – STUDENTS with a better level of empathy seem to urge better grades. Albeit their peers are even as smart, that’s because they will better manage their FEELINGS.
For instance – despite being bored, they’re going to still complete their work, and that they will perform better in social settings. They know when to talk and when to keep quiet.

The Famous Marshmallow Experiment

The famous marshmallow experiment – Kids who can BETTER discipline themselves at a young age tend to perform better later in life.
MANAGERS / WORKERS who are socially skilled – will have the facility influence people once they got to and thus do a far better job at leading people.

“Emotional self-control – delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness – underlies accomplishment of every sort”

Your health depends on EQ

The more you have of it the BETTER you are able to mitigate stress. you can prevent most prevalent diseases of our times.

You can boost your EQ by mirroring other people’s visual communication and thinking optimistically

How are you able to increase your EQ (Emotional Intelligence)

  1. Mirror other people’s visual communication
  2. Convince yourself that your failures result from things YOU CAN CHANGE.

“Emotional self-awareness is that the building block of subsequent fundamental emotional intelligence: having the ability to shake off the bad mood”


How to criticize the right way:

  2. Offer a SOLUTION
  3. Do it FACE TO FACE
  4. Show EMPATHY

6 Important Things Emotionally Intelligent People Follow:

  1. They learn from CRITICISM – Criticism is an opportunity for them to learn.
  2. They SAY SORRY – they are humble and people like them.
  3. They FORGIVE, FORGET and MOVE AHEAD – they take control over their own lives.
  4. They Complete their commitments.
  5. They SHOW EMPATHY – “I understand ……..”
  6. They learn from FAILURE.


About The Author (Daniel Goleman)

Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman
DOB: 7 March 1946
Nationality: American
Education: Amherst College, Harvard University

Daniel Goleman – An Author and a Science Journalist. His book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” is the New York Times bestseller. He was born in Stockton, California. His parents were college professors, and his father taught in the humanities—including Latin and a course on world literature—at what became San Joaquin Delta Community College (the library there is named after him); his mother was a social worker who taught in the sociology department of what is now the University of the Pacific.

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